Saturday, March 6, 2021

drivers license

Usually songs that have explicit versions and clean (Radio Edit) versions are either censored or edited to a way that's unnatural.

Take P!nk's "Fucking Perfect" vs "Perfect"


"Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel, like you're less than, fucking perfect"


"Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel, like you're less than, less than perfect"

The lyrics removes the burst of emotion in that part. That's the sacrifice you make for the radio edit.

Other explicit songs just does the bare minimum... Ariana Grande's "7 Rings" removes the vulgarities without replacing them.

Granted, I am unsure which method is better. The mind always fills in the gaps where the censored word should be, and when you're doing the sing along... you sing it anyways.


Then comes Olivia Rodrigo's drivers license

"Red lights, stop signs, I still see your face, in the white cars, front yards, can't drive past the places, we used to, go to..."


"cause I still fucking love you"


"cause you know I still love you"

Personally I downloaded the clean version of the song and had been listening to it, without realizing that there was an explicit version. I thought well, that's a sad song.

Then YouTube Music served up the explicit version... I thought, damn, that's a desperately sad song.

The clean version alludes to at least knowing the feelings of the breakup, that they talked about it and decided it was best to go their separate ways.

The explicit version... is so one-sided. unrequited. raw.

Fundamentally different songs.

Thursday, March 4, 2021

Playlist/播放列表: 5 Stages - Acceptance

Updated: 04/03/2021
Removed a song and added "Moral of the Story" - Ashe

Acceptance (接受)

Let Her Go - Passenger
还是要幸福 - 田馥甄
我很好, 那么你呢? - 王心凌
那些女孩教我的事 - 品冠
Already Gone - Kelly Clarkson
爱的代价 - 张艾嘉
开始懂了 - 孙燕姿
Always Remember Us This Way - Lady Gaga
我好吗 - 梁静茹
Moral of the Story - Ashe
如果这就是爱情 - 张靓颖

Acceptance in any way shape of form.
It could be bittersweet, could be liberating, could even be taking a deep breath.
It could be smiling, while crying, with snot running down your nose.

Truth is, you don’t really need a playlist for acceptance.

Acceptance is when you can listen to any of the songs in the playlists before, and maintain composure.
Maybe there is a hint of regret, a sight bitterness.

Remember, happiness is a choice.

Youtube Playlist

Tuesday, March 2, 2021


He brought along one of those smaller beer cans, ones that could fit into a soda sleeve.

Despite it being a good sunny day, the wind was still blowing strong, doubly so where we are. The ice, now broken up into large pieces by the warming weather, is moving along with the current. Two birds stood on top of one of the pieces, seemingly enjoying the trip they are on.

"There are 3 women I've ever loved in my life."

"Yeah?" I took a sip from my own can.

"All of them different from each other, and I love them all with my heart"

"What changed?"

He looked away onto the lake. Deep in thought. The sunset was happening on the horizon, half obstructed by the giant structure to our right. I could see partially the beauty of it through the chimney stacks and steel walls, piecing it together with the reflection of it on the lake.

There was suddenly beams of light coming towards us. How the police manage to drive their car onto a walkway near the water will always allude me. I guess... very slowly?

I shifted my can behind my backpack. It's always the small details that give it away, and I was not planning to get a ticket.

"So... then are you still in contact with the other two?"

"No. No... Heck no."


"I wouldn't be able to control myself."


Saturday, February 20, 2021


"But I met someone. And she's helped. And now I want to stay clean. And shit! Maybe that's... Maybe that's me being selfish. And Ali just scared the shit out of me because he told me that it wasn't gonna last. And, fuck, you know what? Maybe you're right. But I really, really, really, hope you're wrong."

- Rue (Euphoria / '03 Bonnie and Clyde)


"Everything that's good to you ain't always good for you."

- Waiter (Euphoria / Trouble Don't Last Always)


"I can survive just fine without you, you know. But...  there’s a chance that life can be a little less mundane with you in it."


"OK, come on. Let's see if we blow up and die."

- Sarah (Palm Springs)


"Closure is really for you you know. There isn't anything on the line for the other person."

- Some jackass I know

Sunday, February 14, 2021


 Looking out the window, people at the skating rink are leaving. It is getting late, isn't it.

A thought suddenly pops into his head... huh that's weird. Why is this thought suddenly coming up, and why is there an urge to speak it.

Throughout the night there's been a lot of conversations going on, a lot of talking, a lot of understanding and heartfelt feelings.

It's beginning to turn into a word vomit, like something you can't stop any longer.

He looked down at the bowl of pomelo, at the can of beer that's been consumed.

Rationally, there's absolutely no reason why this needs to come up now. There is a plan for everything... there's a plan.


What is a plan?


Heart pounding now.

He looked up, looks at her, and said: "I still like you."