Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Chapter 5.2

No I'm not a Singaporean citizen. I'm a permanent resident there. Yes, they have to serve as well.

In a book that I received as a gift for my birthday last year, in it a friend wrote:
"We all have secrets. Don't let yours ruin your life/enjoyment of life. Worst comes to worst, admit it to strangers!"

Later he also sent me something he had learned. He compared to me to bitter groud (苦瓜). It was considered to be a "gentlemen's vegetable"(君子菜) Because when cooked with other things the bitterness of the groud would not spread to others, it would remain with it.

At that time I didn't know whether to be happy or sad. I hadn't thought of it in this way until he send me that. It being my bottled up bitterness and the unwillingness to share it with others. The latter part was true, I didn't like to share my unhappy stories with people. There was no use getting other people down too, to labor them with another person's sorrow. So I want to make everyone happy, every single one of them around me to be happy. I don't think I'm a humorous person, so I do my best anyways. I hope over the years I have cheered up all of my friends at least once.

I'm a weird person. I don't like sharing but I like listening. I love listening to stories of people. Over the years I have witnessed happiness when talking about their other half, the sadness of disappointing family, the scared jobless, the confused over signals.

I've tried to help, tried to console, tried to make fun of him/her about their happy state ;). I feel happy that I helped them with something, feel happy that they are happy.

I like to think that I'm not a unhappy guy, and I still don't think I am, no matter how my friends say I am.

The years and my predicament have made me realize something, and it was something I kept telling my friends before I left.
Cherish what you have and fight for what you don't have. Especially relationships, friends, loved ones or otherwise.

That was ... hypocritical.

歌曲: 爱就对了 - S.H.E