Saturday, August 31, 2019

First 3 Stages: 我不难过

While figuring out the playlist selections, I found two songs that seemingly capture more than one stage of grief.
One song handles the first 3 stages, the next song handles the last 3, with an overlap in the middle.
It's been a while since I've done a self-translate. So here it goes.

我不难过 - 孙燕姿
又站在你家的门口 我们重复沉默
这样子单方面的守候 还能多久
终于你开口向我诉说 她有多温柔
虽然你还握着我的手 但我已不在你心中

我真的懂 你不是喜新厌旧
是我没有 陪在你身边 当你寂寞时候
别再看着我 说着你爱过 别太伤痛
我不难过 这不算什么
只是为什么眼泪会流 我也不懂
就让我走 让我开始享受自由
回忆很多 你的影子也会充满我生活
我并不懦弱 你比谁都懂
虽然寂寞 这会是我 最后的宽容

终于你开口向我诉说她有多温柔
虽然你还握着我的手 但我已不在你心中

我真的懂 你不是喜新厌旧
是我没有 陪在你身边 当你寂寞时候
别再看着我 说着你爱过 别太伤痛
我不难过 这不算什么
只是为什么眼泪会流 我也不懂
就让我走 让我开始享受自由
回忆很多 你的影子也会充满我生活
我并不懦弱 你比谁都懂
虽然寂寞 这会是我 最后的宽容

抱紧我 再抱紧我
这一份感动 请你让我留在胸口
别再说是你的错 爱到了尽头
是非对错 就让它随风
忘了所有 过得比你快活

我真的懂 你不是喜新厌旧
是我没有 陪在你身边 当你寂寞时候
别再看着我 说着你爱过 别太伤痛
我不难过 这不算什么
只是为什么眼泪会流 我也不懂

不要再说 或许这是最好的结果
现在分手 总好过你不爱我一拖再拖
松开你的手 离开你左右
我向前走 这会是我 真正的解脱


I'm Not Sad - Stephanie Sun
Standing in front of your place again, the silence persists
This one sided waiting, how long can it last
Finally you start to tell me how gentle she is
Even though you are holding my hand, but I am not in your heart

I really understand, you are not fickle
I was not there by your side when you were lonely
Don't look at me and say you loved me don't be too hurt
I'm not sad, this is nothing
I just don't know why these tears are falling
Just let me go, let me start to enjoy my freedom
Memories abound, your shadow will envelope my life
I am not a coward, you know this better than anyone
Even though I'm alone, this will be my final tolerance

Finally you start to tell me how gentle she is
Even though you are holding my hand, but I am not in your heart

I really understand, you are not fickle
I was not there by your side when you were lonely
Don't look at me and say you loved me don't be too hurt
I'm not sad, this is nothing
I just don't know why these tears are falling
Just let me go, let me start to enjoy my freedom
Memories abound, your shadow will envelope my life
I am not a coward, you know this better than anyone
Even though I'm alone, this will be my final tolerance

Hug me close, hug me close again
Let me keep this moving feeling in my chest
Don't keep saying its your fault, love has reach its end
Right or wrong, leave it to the wind
Forget everything and live better than you

I really understand, you are not fickle
I was not there by your side when you were lonely
Don't look at me and say you loved me don't be too hurt
I'm not sad, this is nothing
I just don't know why these tears are falling

Stop talking, maybe this is for the best
Breaking up now, is better than you not loving me and dragging this out
Letting go of your hand and leaving you
I walk forward, this will then be my true escape

绿色/Green - Denial
红色/Red - Anger
紫色/Purple - Bargaining

Tuesday, August 27, 2019

Decisive

Sitting in front of a busy street, he recounted his various troubles.

He felt that maybe she just didn't get him. His work was a lot more demanding. And she, well she was not contributing at all, other than parenting.

He sat there, talking about it like a matter of fact. His emotion does not show, or at least not on his face.

It seems then, he has thought of everything.
He looks like he has thought a lot of this through, including the worst case scenario. Well, in my opinion worst case scenario, I'm not sure if he sees it that way.

"I just want you to know that you need to know exactly what you're getting yourself into."

He looks at me.

"There will come a time somewhere down the road where you will look back at this and go... Did I try everything? Did I make a mistake?"

"And when you haven't tried everything that you could. That's when the regrets come. But at that time, it will be too late."

"I just want you to be able to convince yourself... when the time comes."

He nods.

"Not if, when."

Thursday, August 22, 2019

Playlist/播放列表: 5 Stages - Acceptance

Acceptance (接受)
Let Her Go - Passenger
还是要幸福 - 田馥甄
我很好, 那么你呢? - 王心凌
那些女孩教我的事 - 品冠
Already Gone - Kelly Clarkson
爱的代价 - 张艾嘉
开始懂了 - 孙燕姿
Always Remember Us This Way - Lady Gaga
我好吗 - 梁静茹
君がくれた夏 - 家入レオ
如果这就是爱情 - 张靓颖

Acceptance in any way shape of form.
It could be bittersweet, could be liberating, could even be taking a deep breath.
It could be smiling, while crying, with snot running down your nose.

Truth is, you don’t really need a playlist for acceptance.

Acceptance is when you can listen to any of the songs in the playlists before, and maintain composure.
Maybe there is a hint of regret, a sight bitterness.

Remember, happiness is a choice.

Youtube Playlist

____________


I cheated a little. I went back and added/removed songs based on recent events.
I have also added YouTube links to all the the playlists.

Friday, August 9, 2019

Lifetime

There he was, standing in front of the flower bouquet indoors. He held her hands in his, giggling as they try to complete the ceremony. Well, this was more ceremonial than anything, making it official I guess.

Surrounded by friends, they make the best of the situation. Every serious photo was followed by a not serious one. They do their best work when it’s a candid. Every now and then the friend tries to stir up some shit. “Be more sexy” He would say. “Think teletubbies!”

Before everything, he was confronted by his friend, he asked “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“I’m sure”

“Alright, let’s do this”

As he tells it, “my feet are extremely warm”.

1 down. 3 to go.

Tuesday, August 6, 2019

还是要幸福



你如果很幸福
半夜的簡訊我就無需回覆
因為你的悲喜已經有了 容身之處
我也 能有 最純粹的孤獨
最孤獨 的孤獨

If you found your happiness
I won't need to reply to your midnight texts
Because you have found a place for your sorrows and joy
And I can finally have the purest form of loneliness
The lonelinest of loneliness

Sunday, August 4, 2019

KTV

He wanted to sing his heart out.

He went with his closest friends, he did not want a big crowd. In that case, well, people would be fighting for the mic wouldn't it.

He's got his song list, his list of emotions that he wanted to get out. I guess he could have done it at home. You could argue that it is not the same is it. The acoustics are amazing, the microphone is good, it's happy hour. What else could you ask for really.

Song selection is average, but most of the songs are there.

Between his songs, his friends would get in a song of their own.

In their words: "one English and then one Chinese". They didn't really keep to that, but you know, who's counting.

The third song...

He couldn't get to the second verse.

The lines were rolling on screen. He turned the singer back on, trying to maintain some sense of continuity.
我真的懂,你不是喜新厌旧
是我没有,陪在你身边当你寂寞时候

He tried again, and tried again.
我不难过,这不算什么
只是为什么,眼泪会流我也不懂

He failed. He just let the song play out. It's a good song too. Classic.

Saturday, August 3, 2019

Park

He loves her with all of his heart. She does too.

He wonders about their differences, and if it meant that they shouldn't be together. He wanted to go out sometimes, she didn't. She did not like crowds. He was... whatever with it.

There would be frustration, compromises. He would get upset over social events, she would get upset over entertainment. They are still going strong though.

We sat down at a bench.

"Listen, I need you guys to fucking make it okay. You need to!"

"I don't think I will leave her. Not in a million years. If she asked me to..."

He paused, we looked out at the softball game that's going on.

The blue team is really bad at catching, they're making it up with hitting though. The green team is just average. The referee is taking it way too seriously though.

"If she asked me to, I would do it..., but I'll probably end up like you."

Ha, jackass.

"Well I don't think you have to worry about that, nobody ends up like me."

I pointed at him, did the "look at me" motion.

"Hey, you better try your fucking hardest."

He smirks.

"Yeah yeah"

Thursday, August 1, 2019

Walking

He walked with her along the lake. It was a place that you could never really see unless you were authorized to. Seeing the cityscape, it was wonderful, it was beautiful, she is beautiful.

They walked and walked, through to the market.

As they walked through the market, she broke the news to him in front of a greek frozen yogurt store.

"Wow".

His brain started to consume and digest the news, he realized he had a lot of growing up to do.

He was scared. He was puzzled. He is determined.

From that point on, everything was different.