I stopped my Instagram this year. Truth is, I didn't want to check up on people. I keep thinking if this is me running away in the umpteenth time. Yet, I know, if I didn't stop... the anxiety will creep up again.
This year, the first half of the year, I experienced insomnia for the second time. It was sobering, I honestly didn't think I would be suffering from that level of anxiety, all over well... things. First time was I had an interview the next day back when I first started looking for jobs.
This time though, it was completely different, I couldn't sleep for 2 days. I was getting worried, friends were getting worried.
[ When I told you I didn't experience the anxiety, I truthfully didn't. It did come quickly after. ]
Specifically, the book on attachment theory was a great wake up call. Learnt a lot about the different stages and perspectives on people. Learnt about why people are the way they are, the cyclical cycle of avoidants and anxious personalities. What was toxic and what needed to be different.
Subreddits helped, looking at other people going through the same thing. It is helpful to know that you’re not alone.
“But you have to let the people you love know that you love them, even if it causes you a great deal of pain.”