Bench

When he walked past them, their backs were turned against each other on the bench.

It was as if they were talking to imaginary people on either side. 

They weren’t talking, yet their expressions said everything. 

He sat down near them, purely out of necessity. There weren’t any other available benches to sit on. All of them were taken up by people wanting to enjoy the sun out. He needed somewhere to sit down and enjoy his bubble tea on the lake.

They turned to face each other. The boy started to communicate, to talk. More than his words his palms were open, waving ever so slightly. The girl listened, a pained expression on her. 

They were briefly interrupted by the commotion caused by one of the units with the low balcony nearby. Seems like everyone has invited everyone to come enjoy the weekend.

Minutes later, the girl rested her head on the boys shoulder. 

The boy wiped something from the corner of his eye. 

He got up and walked past them again, both of their eyes were red.

Playlist/播放列表: 5 Stages - Depression

Edit 7/17:

Added someone I found recently, JP Saxe.

Depression (沮丧)
Won't Even Start - David Choi
渐渐 - 赵薇
搞笑 - 罗志祥
Wish You Were Here - Avril Lavigne
失忆的金鱼 - 杨丞琳
Happier - Ed Sheeran
就让这首歌 - 张震岳
冰雨 - 刘德华
眼泪的名字 - 谢安琪
Consequences - Camila Cabello
참 쓰다 - Lee Ming Jung

A Little Bit Yours - JP Saxe

Everyone feels sad in their own way.
In that sense, you tend to gravitate to the songs that speak to you.

Youtube Playlist

Father / Son

Father's Day wasn't something that was in my lexicon for the longest time when I was young. These days it carries a little more weight, though it's not official celebrated.

There are two songs that remind me of dads in general. 1 in English, 1 in Chinese.

Cat Stevens - Father and Son

This song is in the perspective of a father giving his son some advice. 

I actually heard it first in Guardians of The Galaxy Vol. 2, at the end. 

Guardians Vol. 2 deals with family and what it means to be family. Lindsay Ellis has a great video essay here.

I couldn't really focus at the song at the end with my initial viewing, but the scene with the song was always very moving. As with the original soundtrack, I bought it and started listening to it.

Then again, this song never really got to me until more recently, after I talked more with my dad.

I think it's always going to be a complex relationship with fathers, be it the ones that are present, or the ones that aren't there.

“How can I try to explain?
'Cause when I do, he turns away again
It's always been the same, same old story 

From the moment I could talk, I was ordered to listen
Now there's a way and I know that I have to go away
I know, I have to go”

 “我要怎么尝试解释呢？
我一尝试，他又转身回避
一向来都是这样

从我能说话开始，我就被命令聆听
现在我知道有办法，我知道我会离开
我知道我必须离开“

李宗盛 - 新写的旧歌

这首歌是李宗盛2018年写的，我当然一直是李宗盛的粉丝。

这首歌并不像上面的一首吧，说的是李宗盛自己对他爸的眷恋，一点惋惜。说的他的故事，歌曲也不跟随普通的旋律定义。

“思念其实不是 不是这个歌的主题
我相信不只有我 在回忆时觉得吃力
两个男人 极有可能终其一生只是长得像而已
有幸运的 成为知己 有不幸的 只能是甲乙”

“Reminiscing is actually not the theme of this song
I believe it's not just me that find recollections draining
Between two men, it's extremely likely that the only thing you share is that you look alike
Lucky ones become confidants, unlucky ones are mere passersby” 

Past + Present: Past Life

3/3

I'm trying to be honest with my happiness
Don't know why I'm bad at this, uh

And I don't wanna sit in all my sadness
I know it's a habit of mine

我试图坦诚面对我的幸福

不知道为何这么难

而我不想一直沉迷于我的忧伤里

我知道这是我的嗜好

Perfect, perfect timing

I start what I don't know how to end

Don't re-, don't remind me
I ruined it before it began, oh

完美，完美时机

我开始了但我不知道如何结束

别再，别再提醒我

我在它开始前就把它搞砸了

Last night was the last night of my past life
Got me here like you could never figure me out
Last night was the last time, was the last time
I never let you figure me out
Sitting here, talking to myself
Thinking how I used to use you
Only thing I'm used to
Last night was the last time, was the last time, woah

昨晚是我前生的最后一夜

你对我琢磨不清

昨晚是最后一次，是最后一次

我不会让你看清我的

坐在这里，自言自语

回想起我是如何利用你

是我唯一习惯的相处方式

昨晚是最后一次，是最后一次

Gave me what I wanted when I needed it
Honestly, I mean it

And if I could convince myself to feel it
You know I would feel it, I would

在我需要的时候你给了我

真的，我是认真的

如果我能说服自己去感受它

你知道其实我早就能感觉到了，真的

Where we've been, what we know

Will never go away

Will never go away

Where we've been, what we know

Will never go away

Will never go away

去过哪里，领悟了什么

永远不会忘记

永远不会忘记

去过哪里，领悟了什么

永远不会忘记

永远不会忘记

______________

These months... TBC

Lights

He set a direction in this GPS for home.

Wait, is there still light out? He looked at his watch, 8:30, there's still time perhaps.

Updating his destination, he started driving.

________

It was already very dark when he got there, almost.

He walked up the hill, he didn't expect there to be the overgrown trees, though to be fair the last time he was here was in winter.

At the spot where he took the last picture, this time there's more people, with drinks and music.

He misses the peace and quiet, but definitely not the cold.

Still, he found a spot and sat down. 

He had missed it. Though the city lights are starting to make up for it, a different scene than what he expected to see.

_________

Walking back down the hill, some mini fireworks started from up top. Seems like the people are compensating for the lack of real fireworks. The sound reflects from across the valley, seemingly doubling the amount that's actually there.

Heh. So many things running through his head.